I don't think I've ever felt quite so anxious about my period before. Well except when it was running a day or two late and I was concerned I could be pregnant.
We've always used birth control but still, they're only 98% effective at their best and you can still be that little bit afraid.
But it got me to thinking...
We live our lives in fear, afraid I could be pregnant, afraid I won't get pregnant, afraid that I might lose my job (been there), afraid of loss of health (been there too), afraid of debt, afraid of death of loved ones (sort of been there). I've been afraid of all these things happening and when they did/do/will it was scary and stress inducing and resulted in hair loss. (That happens to me a lot)
But...
I survived it all.
I lived through it all.
It didn't kill me, I'm not sure if I'm stronger, I'm definitely wiser, I've learnt from every occasion. I think I've been bettered by most of them - well apart from the hair loss.
I don't want to go through any of those fears again.
Nope.
No siree bob.
But I do hope I'm pregnant. I think that's what I've learnt from all of the above. It's about hope, keeping your fingers crossed, looking to the future and keeping your chin up.
And saying yes when the nurse asks if you want a sleeping pill.
It's not good trying to sleep in a hospital!
